SAT 11 NOV 2006 - GO AWAY!

SAT 11 NOV 2006 - GO AWAY!  

 It is 1.04 p.m. and is raining, not a heavy rain. I had been busy for the whole morning, washed the clothes, swept the floor, mopped the floor, tidied up my cupboard etc. I had been so tired now, mainly tired of Eilen and Eric's behaviour! I was getting tired and tired, i want to quit, i didn't want to live alife here anymore. Help me out here! Why should i suffer like this? Why i was the only one that need to do the housework and i was the one who will be scold if they done something wrong? Can anyone tell me? I think i will get heart-attack sooner! Even worse, i will die because of that, i think! What i can and should do next? Was anyone out there could tell me? Everyday, everytime, every hours. every minutes, every seconds, i was thinking and wondering, when can i leave this house and stay alone? When?? I really hope that i can grow up as fast as i can, i hope i can stay alone outside when further my studies. I will also be glad if i can further my studies overseas. I really hope i can achieve that! And i was struggle now, everyday, hoped that i can go there..

Tonight, we will go Kota Bharu, and i will got the chance to buy the novels which i had wanted it for a long while. And i hope that i can be able to buy a new cell phone some day how. I always wonder why my friends' parents allowed and bought them an up-to-date cell phone but my parents don't? My parents always told me that they have no enough money to buy that!! Why! Instead they can always made a call and 'buy ekor'!!! I really hate that!! I told myself that i wanted succeed and at that time, i can buy whatever i want! I didn't want to have my life which i had to depend on others' money or anything! And one thing that i really sure is that i don't trusted guys! There is no guys that can be able to be trusted in this world!! And i was really sure about that!!!

CURRENT MOOD: ANXIOUS