Story of My Life - Yvonne Kua

♥  love  last remembered on 7:13:00 PM♥        Oh sin, i've committed sin..        What i have been doing these few weeks?         Randomness?         OH Noooooo, I can't continue living like this.         I gotta change..         Doing all these, all these sin will not fade away the scars in my heart.

No birthday cake this year. :( and not celebrated by Abang again this year. I really dont know what it is. On valentine's day, he had dinner with others. And we had quarrel. My birthday last year, it was not celebrated as well. This year, 2014, second year. On my birthday eve, I just found out he actually went to TGIF for dinner at paradigm mall. Celebrated Halloween? I messaged him on my birthday eve, thought i could celebrate with him, who knows i passed that day alone by myself at home. On my birthday that morning 5.30 something i called him again, i thought if he answered, i would straight away cancel the volunteer programme and then passed that day with Abang. Nope, he did not answer. I really wish it wasnt what i thought. I went for the Viper Challenge. Then only he called, i really dont wanna imagine what happened. After came back from the volunteer briefing, i waited for his call, thought he did call before my birthday passed at 12pm, but there was nothing. So stupid, i sha...

Well yeah, I am back to the life of myself. No more worries on what to do for others. I definitely can forget everything and start all over, start a new life. Things to achieve: 1. Professional paper (ACCA/CPA Australia) 2. Language course 3. Travels 4. Change my look *winkz 5. New car 6. Study abroad 7. Volunteer work 8. Classes - music (piano), dance etc 9. Be a tutor during weekends 10. more... I strongly believe I can pass through what I once passed through. I can do it. I will be someone! Be strong Yvonne! (:

yvonne kua hi adik 5 messages Radzwil Johan  Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 10:29 PM To: yvonne 9006 pekaba? lama xdengar berita?... y v o n n e  Fri, Dec 28, 2012 at 1:48 PM To: Radzwil Johan hi.. i penah tried to call u, tp tak dapat pun.... On Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 10:29 PM, Radzwil Johan  < radzwil79@gmail.com >  wrote: pekaba? lama xdengar berita?... Radzwil Johan  Sat, Dec 29, 2012 at 1:03 AM To: y v o n n e hi adik sygg..miss u taw...ni no abg 012 6457408..nnt kol or sms ya...emmmuuahhh On Fri, Dec 28, 2012 at 1:48 PM, y v o n n e  < feelmeheaven@gmail.com >  wrote: hi.. i penah tried to call u, tp tak dapat pun.... On Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 10:29 PM, Radzwil Johan  < radzwil79@gmail.com >  wrote: pekaba? lama xdengar berita?...

Wohoo.. Abang lemme drove his Vellfire! This is one of the most happiest day in my life! I love him so much and i don't think i can live without him :( So many sins in me, and all the dark sides... Do i deserve him :( I hope he knows how i have changed, but yeah just like everyone will be cautious towards a person that has been in jail before... I know that, but i just can't tahan when he scolded me bitch, low level, pahria, cheapskate, bitch, slut!! I don't like! and i become emotional everytime this happens and said bye. But i hope u know i never mean bye. I love Abang so much. but i just cant show. :((

Yesterday was one of the unforgettable day in my life!.. He lemme drove The car he borrowed from his friend, Ed! (: whoop. .my first time driving in KL! Hehe.. The journey was mostly using smart tunnel and it was fun! However.. relationship between me and him is so suffocating for me!! I tell myself everything is fine..I am good But come on..everyone sees that will think there is something! ! What to say me??! I hate this. I hope I can leave and he goes back to his lovely life! His lovely blog with her.. His model. Me pahlia, who am I compare to a model..There is nothing between  them they were so in love. Are high high I hate this! ! I just wanna have a life.. A normal person's life..normal life cycle without all these! I am barely able to breathe!! Habits.. Aku gatal.. Ape nak buat? I can't stick with one single dick.. That's my problem!!

I wished I could lwt him know the person is him, abang.. it was because Of the suspicious me and thinking too much by judging from the pic of him with her in fb..and even though he told me also I did not believe him. I really was a fool to not hear what he said from the start.. is there any time machine that I can go back? Things will be different now if I never be that stupid me.. I would have been with isaac now and would have been so in love with each other and become so sweet...

If only I can tell Abang xx,  he is the one I referrred to in my plurk. If only he knows I only love him all this while.. If only I can tell him this.. I did not even realized I said I dont want to be with him that year.. if only he knows I was trying my best to message him after that but I have ben kicked out..if only he knows I was so blurr at that time that I did not know I said I no longer wanna be with him(I did not)..if only he knows I cried talking to lixin about this that he left me.. If only now I could tell him.. if and only if.......

Here's the Twisted part about this affair. I had a BF with a very successful guy, basically everything a girl could dream of.. But...  This is what really  happened :) Ohh.. now that i recall this was right after my Crazy Adventure with Someone else at JB , as usual, BF was told I went out with my NS friend name, Clarise This was after I've visited his office.. Where we get to play Doctor..  That was my first experience lying on the bed at his office, but he was really good with his hands me. That was also the first time i've  seen a live penis. Didnt know what to expect..  Afterall, he was a Fat guy.. But surprisingly his dick wasnt as short as how i had seen those porns that he sent me to ask me to learn and have experience before we met up at his office .. 

Another Christmas, & this is the 2nd time I feel so lonely during Christmas... Merry merry christmas, lonely lonely Christmas..

Hey... look around... Don't you wish to have a guy with these 5 Cs & 1 S: Caring  Cheerful Charming Confident  Creative +    Sincere In my opinion, this 5Cs & 1S makes an almost-perfect guy! (; But i doubt does this kind of guy exists? lol 

       Oh sin, i've committed sin..        What i have been doing these few weeks?         Randomness?         OH Noooooo, I can't continue living like this.         I gotta change..         Doing all these, all these sin will not fade away the scars in my heart.